good idea: celebrating punctuation.

To all grammarians, and editorial pirates and misfits alike, today is a day to rejoice! “Why?” you ask: because one brilliant lone man braved humiliation from the masses of the illiterate and the ungrammarfied—yes, I made that word up—on behalf of all punctuation marks, sophisticated and primitive, underused and overused, dominant on the keyboard and secondary on the keyboard (requiring the use of the shift key to unlock its rule), to proclaim today National Punctuation Day.

Hallelujah!

At last, a day—no, a holiday—honoring the diligent and absolute attributes to some of the most underrated finites. Go ahead, go out and tell your friends, your colleagues, your students, your boss, your parents, and your next-door neighbor; hell, go out and tell your enemies (it’ll make you look smarter than them . . . again). And if that isn’t enough [for you], well, go get yourself a copy of the ever-essential, pocket-sized, classically written, how-to paperback. And who said Charlotte’s Web was his finest work? (I do admit, I certainly maintain a veiled affection for Fern and Wilbur).

Alas, for those who simply can’t, won’t, or don’t give a damn, well, here are my parting thoughts: Wherever there’s a comma splice, a gorge of semi-colons, a misplaced colon, a perfunctory exclamation, a ridiculous question, a misrepresentation of hyphens as em dashes, an unwarranted bracket, quotation mark, or parentheses, there is an army of angry red-penned editors, proofreaders, copy editors, and grammar fanatics waiting for your very next move. Edit your act, damn it!




P.S. If you’re a glutton for punishment, want to sharpen your skills, or might like to try something for kicks, put yourself to the test, and enjoy. I certainly did.